bad kids
by hangmeuptodry
Summary: AU. The moment I laid eyes on Sasuke, it wouldn't be long until "good girl Sakura" died a glorious death. I went on to become many things: a criminal, a fighter, and even a stripper for a little while. But there was one thing I never was again: Alone.
1. Misspent Youth

A/N: It's my first time participating in SasuSaku month and it's super awesome to see everyone's SS spirit. We really do have the best shippers. Btw, trying out a new format for these prompts. This is also non-massacre AU, which explains Sasuke's extreme OOC. Please enjoy this!

* * *

There was a haze of smoke and the smell of sweat was probably going to stay in Naruto's couches forever. Temari was grinding against Shikamaru in a slow whine and, for once, he was so blazed that he let her. Music was still blaring, but I couldn't tell you half the songs they played that night. I remember Ino tapping me on the shoulder and pointing towards him. My eyes slid in the direction of her fingers, stopping to look at scar on her thumb before I saw him.

There he stood, impossibly beautiful and most certainly bad for my well being, like a freshly baked cupcake smothered in frosting that melted with the remaining endothermic energy.

I wanted him.

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**bad** **kids**

_don't fight the gravitational pull_

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Naruto's dad was mayor of Konoha, so it was important that he comported himself in public as the son of a respectable man should.

Naruto never did give a shit about the important things, except his girlfriend, and his friends, and making sure he got a minimum of a C on all of his end-of-term grades so he didn't have to repeat the classes of "the stupid fucks that expected too much" of him.

Naruto was too crazy for someone always in the public eye.

I loved him to bits.

"Thanks, Sak!"

He planted a sloppy open-mouthed kiss on my cheek, grabbed Hinata's hand and they both waved to me as they walked down the hallway.

I was nothing like Naruto.

I came from a wealthy family that sustained itself off of my dad's construction company, although I knew he destroyed things more than he built them.

I always behaved in public and I got straight As and my skirt my skirt was always an appropriate length.

I'd known Naruto since he was a child, when he was nothing short of naïve, and have watched him grow into a fully fledged pot-smoking, prank-pulling, pussy-chasing fifteen year old.

That was until he met Hinata, a friend of mine he'd liked since he met her and now they'd been together for two years.

Naruto wanted to throw a party for his seventeenth birthday in the guesthouse adjacent to his parents' home and I'd just agreed to buy the tequila.

He loved me to bits.

* * *

I'd never seen him before. He rolled with a different crowd, yet he knew mine. I had only heard about him in little snippets of conversation that, for some reason, I held on to with an iron grip, trying to put a face to the enigma he was before he even transferred to our school.

I'd heard of Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto, who called himself "the teme's best friend".

I'd heard of Sasuke Uchiha from Hinata, who said he was "a bit stuck up", but "a nice guy once you got to know him and he realized he couldn't get rid of you".

I'd heard of Sasuke Uchiha from Temari, who said he's a "hot piece of rich ass", but a "fucking asshole".

I'd heard of Sasuke Uchiha from Ino, who swore he only like "bad girls".

"Bad girls? What kind of guy goes looking for trouble? I thought he didn't like troublesome people."

Ino scoffed at what she thought was idiocy and said, "Oh yeah? Then why is he friends with Naruto?"

After that, I started to believe her.

Once I saw him, I knew it was true.

I could see him through the smoky fog even though I had to squint to see Ino's hand and my first thought was "How could one human being possibly be so dark, yet so easy to see in darkness?"

But he was so beautiful.

Dark eyes, dark unruly hair, pale skin and a tall demanding gait that even someone eight feet tall couldn't possess.

As The Weeknd's voice blared through the speakers towards the end of the party and dawn came, I sat in a chair in the corner, thinking how much smoother Sasuke must sound.

* * *

He did.

"Sakura, right?"

I didn't expect for him to be standing behind me, and so close. My back touched his chest when I went to close my locker.

He made our school uniform work for him. So well.

The black slacks couldn't be helped, but I noted how he ditched the blazer like Naruto, rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt and wore the red tie impossibly loose.

I felt like an idiot in my complete uniform of the blazer, red skirt, white button-down shirt, and a red bow tied tightly around my neck.

"Yes…" my voice was so slow and it made him arch up a dark eyebrow.

After watching him at the party for so long, I went home and sketched the face I remembered into the pad under my bed. It was an almost perfectly symmetrical copy of him.

Just without the eyes.

Looking at them now, I realized I would never be able to capture the complete solidness of them. It seemed the light never caught them.

"Have you seen the d- Naruto?"

I frowned when I saw he didn't call Naruto by a nickname I knew he hated. Naruto told me about their need for insults to show that they cared for each other and here he was, cleaning up in my presence.

I didn't know if I should've been offended or not.

Sasuke stared at me in the face, waiting for my answer.

"TEME!"

And the spell was broken.

Sasuke turned around, forgetting all about me, walking towards Naruto and Ami, who he kissed with great ardor before smacking my friend on the head.

I don't know why my chest started to hurt.

I don't know how I didn't feel his eyes on me after I adjusted my binder in my hand and walked to class.

* * *

Ami Watanbe had teased me since kindergarten due to the massive area of my forehead.

The day Ino shoved a handful of flowers down her throat was the day Ino and I became best friends.

Of all the bad girls on the planet, why couldn't have picked any else? _Anyone_ besides Ami.

I asked Naruto that very question, just choosing my words in a way that (hopefully) made me sound disinterested.

"He says she's pretty tight."

Naruto, Kiba, Choji and Ino erupted in laughter, Tenten, Neji, and Lee shook their heads, mouths pursed to hold in their snickers, Shikamaru and Shino ignored us, Hinata blushed…

I just soaked in embarrassment.

* * *

Some nights, at least once a week, Naruto and I used to get into my car, drive up to the border of the city, and sit on a huge wall beside an abandoned slaughterhouse that over looked the entirety of Konoha.

He would smoke.

I looked at the stars and enjoyed the sweet charred smell of the First Lady Naruto would steal from Tsunade specifically for nights like those.

We hadn't gone there in six months when Naruto grabbed me from sleep on a Thursday and said "get dressed".

It was a school night and usually I would question him, but I didn't bother this time, slipping on some shorts with the thin, silk pajama cami I had on and with a pair of slip-ons, and letting him drag me to a car I didn't recognize in front of my house.

The black leather seats matched the rest of the car and felt smooth under my exposed thighs.

Sasuke's hair matched the rest of the car.

The view was the same from the top of the hill and I leaned back feeling the thickness of the short wall surrounding the old slaughterhouse on my back. The fresh breeze felt good, since Konoha had always been an excessively hot place, even in March and even a bit at night.

Naruto was asleep on the ground with his back on the gray concrete after some First Lady that Sasuke lit for him. Sasuke was still playing with the flame from time to time, relighting it when it got blown away by a gust of air.

"So, you excited?"

Sasuke hadn't tried to talk to me once. Not after the one time he'd asked for Naruto. Not even after sitting at the same lunch table as the rest of my friends and me.

I hadn't tried talking to him either.

I didn't answer, but when I looked at him, he continued.

"You know… Isn't your birthday next week? Naruto's throwing a party for you," at my surprised face, he cursed, "Fuck, you didn't know that did you?"

"No, I didn't…" I played with the hem of my tank top and looked fondly at the snoring boy on the ground. I had barely seen Naruto since Sasuke transferred to Konoha High and yet, he still thought of me.

"Try and act surprised, will you? I don't want Naruto to throw a fit before you can have some fun, dance a little, and have a few drinks. We can break the news to him afterwards," I didn't know when he got close enough for me to hear his mock whisper, but the proximity took my breath away, and I looked to the ground, blushing a fiery red.

"Why so bashful, Sakura?"

His smirk, or what I could see of it through my bangs, was playful and beautiful.

He was so beautiful.

"Ah, I know what your deal is…"

My head shot up and I looked at his cocky expression.

"You don't know how to dance, do you? I didn't see you dance at Naruto's birthday party…"

"Neither did you."

I didn't mean to say it aloud. At the time, I was mortified and wanted to die, but it was those words that set the next few days' events' in stone.

To my surprise, Sasuke leaned in closer, tucking a strand of bubblegum hair tickling my nose behind my ear and said, "That's because I was waiting for you to get up, so I could take you by the waist, "the weight of his hands were surprisingly nice and I found myself falling into him a bit more, entrance by his way with words, "and dance with you, among other things."

"Like what?"

I knew I had responded too quickly to not seem eager. I knew it. Yet, I didn't care.

"Like this."

I just wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel the weight of his soft lips on mine and his hands go up and down my sides and his tongue coax mine out of the shyness of my mouth and suck on it. I wanted him to lay me down on the thick stone of the wall and settle himself in between my legs and kiss me while the place on my body that had never been touched rubbed against him as he grew hard against me. I wanted him to suck on my neck and slip his hands under my shirt and press up against me a little bit more, a little bit harder.

And he did.

Naruto woke up soon after, making us break apart instantly before he could wipe the sleep out of his eyes. Sasuke drove us all home and didn't spare me a glance as he said "bye".

I got what I wanted that night, along with a whole bunch of other things I didn't want, like a pair of wet panties, a scrape on my right elbow, a pajama shirt I never wanted to wash, an aching need for something else I didn't get, and, most of all, an insatiable need for Sasuke Uchiha.

Ino's words rang in my ears while I was lying in bed that night.

"Sasuke only likes bad girls."

I knew the repercussions of changing yourself for a guy. I'd seen Ino deal with them countless times, but I didn't care.

I wanted Sasuke.

And I wanted to make him want me.

I spent the rest of the night hemming my school skirt and looking for the makeup I had bought so long ago because of Ino's insistence.

* * *

I walked into school that Friday morning looking so unbelievably different that people I didn't even know attended Konoha prep were looking at me.

It felt good.

Was this how Ino's confidence managed to outlast countless of girls calling her cruel names?

I had ditched my blazer and my neck bow just so I could leave the first two buttons of my shirt undone. Anymore and I would've felt like Ami. I left my hair out that day and flaunted the skirt that completely left the vicinity of my knees.

I felt reborn.

I felt even better when Sasuke looked at me for a few seconds longer than everyone else.

* * *

In the week leading up to my birthday, I had never felt better.

I felt like I belonged with my friends, even though I hadn't known I felt like an outsider before.

When they passed around a joint clockwise, I took a hit too.

When Naruto tagged his name on an alley wall, I made sure to put my initials under his.

When he made a joke in class that pissed off the teacher, I made sure to laugh extra hard.

When I bought a bottle, I made sure to have a little of what was inside.

And when Ino started to slut-shame Ami, I joined in.

Even if my gut told me I was going too far, I didn't listen.

Sasuke was paying even less attention to me, but there were rumors going around that he was going to break up with Ami.

I should've just quit while I was ahead.

But I didn't.

Just because she wasn't invited, didn't mean she was going to stay home.

I should've known that.

* * *

Naruto tenderly paced the cold gel pack on my cheek, making sure I didn't flinch so I wouldn't disrupt the band aid beside my eye.

I had been jumped by a group of _real_ bad girls. The same ones that used to kick the crap out of me and pull my hair in elementary school—Ami and her friends, Fuki and Kasumi.

Naruto found me and fixed my face up so that it wouldn't swell too badly.

He had knowledge from experience, unfortunately.

And he hadn't spoken a single word since he found me in the back alley beside the hair salon I had exited on my way to his house for my party.

After three hours of waiting, Naruto had gotten Ino to send everyone home while he and Sasuke looked for me.

Naruto sent Sasuke home and brought me back to my empty house and prepared to clean me up.

Before Naruto could turn away from my eyes, I grabbed his hand, ignoring the massive pain in my arm, and asked him to "Please, say something".

"To who? Because in this past week you've become the exact opposite of Sakura."

* * *

I didn't come to school for a week after my birthday.

By then, all the pain had healed and my face was fine.

But my pride was still wounded.

Naruto had yelled my ear off, threw a roll of bandages at me, knocked the glass container of decorative pebbles in my bathroom on the floor and left me to finish bandaging my ankle and clean up the mess.

At the time, I thought he had smoked a bit while waiting for me, but weed never made him angry.

So I decided to stay home for a bit in order to let him cool off.

I would've stayed longer if someone hadn't stopped by my house.

Sasuke was sitting on my bed when I came out of my shower on Monday, ready to go back to bed.

I always showered in the morning and then went to sleep right after when I couldn't sleep well the night before. It was an odd habit that Ino knocked me for all the time.

She never had trouble sleeping.

Seeing Sasuke's face reminded me of my own problems and I almost turned and walked out, determined to never look at him again if it would keep me from doing something stupid.

Then, I remembered.

He was in _my_ fucking room.

"Get dressed, Sakura. You're going to scho—"

"Get the fuck out of my room."

Sasuke's face looked so much like the first time he asked me a question and my "yes" didn't come out properly.

He was confused, but I wasn't.

I always did my best thinking when I was alone and being away from school and Ino and Naruto and Ami and Sasuke had done me a world of good at figuring out just what the hell I'd been doing since that night Sasuke and I had kissed.

I knew how much of an idiot I'd made of myself and made Naruto worry and get mad over my out of character actions from that week and I was determined to get rid of the initial problem.

Which was Sasuke.

When I repeated my previous sentiment, he picked up a familiar, black leather bound pad, the pages filled with endless sketches.

He turned the book around, letting me know he'd been staring at an almost perfect drawing of himself.

Just, without eyes.

"You were looking through my stuff."

Sasuke looked at me disinterestedly, then down to the hand-pressed paper.

"Is this supposed to be some symbolic, artsy way of saying I have ugly eyes?"

I could've choked.

"No! I just couldn't sketch them. They're… they're beautiful."

I couldn't help but tell the truth.

His eyebrows rose even more and a slow smirk spread on his face.

I made my way to my bed slowly, making sure to tighten the knot on my bathrobe before I sat beside him from a safe distance, carefully taking the sketch pad out of his hands.

Cradling the book and looking down at the beautiful likeness of my sketch to the real thing, I couldn't be angry, because it was a beautiful sketch. Almost perfect. It was the real thing I had a problem with, not my work.

I flipped to somewhere in the first fifteen pages and stopped at a sketch of Naruto.

I never bothered to color any of my work, but whenever I saw his face on my paper, I could almost swear I was able to see his eyes as blue as when he stood in front of her.

"He's not mad at you, you know. He was on some weird shit on your birthday laced with PCP. My brother tried that once. Got too angry and never tried it again. "

In that moment I realized I had never heard Sasuke talk about his family. Ever.

Or anything else of substance besides that he hated fruity drinks.

"… Are you sure?"

Sasuke put his hand over mine, nodding assuredly towards me and I felt so unbelievably relieved I laughed, only stopping when Sasuke's fingers came to tuck away the wet bangs that were falling in my eyes.

He stood in front of me and rounded my bed, walking towards the open window that had me shivering from the moment I sat down.

"Sakura…"

Sasuke left, but not before making my cheeks burn.

The rest of the day, I got ready for school tomorrow, while thinking of the way Sasuke changed when he talked about his family and how his eyes had caught the light when all of my lamps were off.

"_Your eyes are beautiful too. Especially without makeup."_

I squealed as I prepared surprise, custom-made bentos for all my friends tomorrow.

I had heard of Sasuke Uchiha from Neji as well, who said he "was unusually obsessed with tomatoes".

* * *

Alright, how'd I do?

This was inspired by dimes of my friend's best shit, The Weeknd, and Lana Del Rey.

xx mm.


	2. Grounded

**A/N: **Wasn't going to continue this originally, but I guess I will. However, this isn't my main priority, so it'll be a casual thing.

This is inspired by the prompt "Grounded" for SasuSaku Month 2013

* * *

Naruto placed an open mouthed kiss on my cheek in greeting, as he did every morning. Grabbing Hinata's hand on his way to homeroom, I barely had enough time to see the tense expression on his face.

I still saw it though.

I didn't even have a chance to say "good morning" or "can you not ignore me today" or "please, talk to me".

Naruto was horrible when it came to initiating confrontation, no matter how many fights he'd been in.

When I snapped my locker closed, Ami didn't hesitate to snap her wrist, slapping my books out of my hands without so much as halting in her synchronized step with Sasuke.

He pretended not to notice even though he looked right at me.

I pretended not to notice even though I looked right at him, looking right at me.  
As I knelt to pick up my books, I huffed a laugh devoid of any humor.

Naruto wasn't the only one.

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**bad kids**

_the start of the end_

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"You're going to Tenten's party tomorrow night, right Forehead?"

I wanted to tell her yes. Really, I did.  
But it was more for her sake than mine.

I could see Naruto's interest in my answer from the way he subtly turned his body away from Hinata, towards me.

"I'm grounded."

Ino sucked her teeth and pressed her back in the cafeteria chair she always sat in on my right. I knew she was upset because I wouldn't be able to be the designated driver for her and whoever she decided to pickup at this party that would be just as drunk—or twice as drunk—as she would most likely be. Ino was just like that. I was the diplomatic one that would drive her and whatever's-his-face home, keep her parents preocuupied in the front by bringing something she "forgot" at my house, allowing her and her boy toy to sneak into her room through the staircase by the backdoor.

Then I would be able to leave and return to an empty house.

When her parents finally made it upstairs to tell her I had stopped by whatever-how-many hours later, she would either be finished with him or he would be hiding under her canopy bed with the fluffy, expensive violet sheets.

A part of me was glad I wouldn't have to deal with it this time. Either way, I had no choice.

My parents had caught wind of the week I'd missed from school.

Fucking attendance office.

They had distractedly grounded me over the phone last night for seven days. I had to make up for the week I had skipped without their permission, even though I had thoroughly convinced them of feeling under the weather the entire time.

It wasn't a complete lie. Either way, I was restricted from social outings until next thursday.

Even with my parents miles away, it was in my nature to obey.

I looked across the table towards Naruto for a second, catching him muttering something to Sasuke as his tan fingers stroked Hinata's silky hair.

When dark eyes met mine, I shifted my gaze to the mouth that went with them—a stupid move on my part.

I spent the rest of the day wondering why he was frowning.

* * *

I remember reading somewhere that many people with low self esteem tend to direct their anger towards others in the form of envy, or—at a greater length—jealousy.

I can't remember where I saw it or when, but the statement has stayed in my mind since I saw it.

I've always disagreed.

When I saw others with something I wanted, I directed that anger towards myself.

I was the one too inept, too inadequate, too inherently cowardly to get that metaphorical thing for my own—whether it was a state of physicality...

Or someone else.

The way I saw it, if someone you wanted didn't want you, there was something wrong with you, not them.

After all, other people were capable of capturing their attention, weren't they?

I thought for sure Sasuke and Ami had broken up, yet he was still all over the place with her.

I wanted to tell myself it was because he enjoyed making me sweat but, in actuality, how well did Sasuke know—and hate—me to only stay around her for my personal agony?

It was hell sharing study hall during last period with both of them and know—without even looking at them—their chairs would be empty.

Monday to Friday.

It was something I could always count on.

Eventually I came up with this self deprecating game where I would think up how far his tongue would be down her throat during the period.

Before I knew it, these scenarios changed from Sasuke and Ami making out to very simple scenes of Sasuke, Ami, Naruto and the rest of my friends hanging out without me.

During these times of distress to the point where I feared I had social anxiety, I would constantly tell myself I sounded like a fucking idiot until I relaxed and attempted to work on my essay for a pre-college fellowship at Konoha Hospital.

This was how I picked up the habit of bumming cigarettes off Shikamaru and smoking during study hall instead.

To this day, I still sometimes have one with Shikamaru when we're both drunk.

* * *

Fridays after school were usually filled with music blasting on Ino's stereo while she tried to get me into all kinds of clothing that didn't look right on me.

Today, I was grounded.

Today, I was resolute to ignore the _tinktinktink_ of a finger tapping away at the glass of one of my locked windows.

Sasuke had stopped by my window every day since I returned to school. I hadn't let him in after everyone ate my bentos at lunch after getting the "munchies" during gym and after he had ignored me during the entire process.

There was just something ridiculously taboo about seeing Sasuke outside of school. He was someone I had acted ridiculously stupid because of—even though Ino enthusiastically told me she liked seeing me get "out of my titanium shell"—and I preferred to not be reminded of my mistakes.

I liked to lock mine up so tight inside of me that if someone were to remind me of them, I couldn't recall any details of who, what, where, when, and why.

The tapping went away and I made sure to remain sitting away from my windows, staring at my open sketchbook's same blank page since last week.

It bothered me.

When I was angry, I drew. When I was angry, I drew. When I was angry, I drew.

It was an irrefutable truth.

Since drawing Sasuke's face without eyes I hadn't been able to start anything else.

It didn't get cold in my room, but I rubbed at my arms subconsciously. Being alone in my house left me alone with me thoughts.

I never knew how I felt about that.

I heard my front door close and my heart jumped. Before I could freeze in absolute terror that would lead to my death, Sasuke appeared in my doorway looking pleased with himself.

"Pitiful etiquette, I apologize."

His words oozed with a certain bravado that made me want to smack him and he laughed.

The hand placed over my still-racing heart didn't find anything humorous about him breaking into my home.

Did he think I was playing some fucking game with him? Did he think I was playing "hard to get" or being playfully flirty in making him resort to appearing before me through trespassing when I didn't want him anywhere near me?

"You okay?"

Sasuke had already made himself comfortable in my computer chair, leaning his upper body against the leather and laying his chin in his folded arms. He watched me as I struggled to relax in his presence after being so scared, amusement apparent in his eyes.

"You scared me."

I said that because, really, it was the truth. And it was all I could manage to say.

Sasuke's shifting moods perplexed, excited, scared, and aggravated me.

In school, he completely ignored me and let Ami push me around and denied me the attention I always thought I wanted while I was wearing my uniform.

When I was here, at home, in the reluctant oasis I hardly shared with anyone anymore, he tapped on my window relentlessly, almost as if he genuinely wanted to see me.

It was too bad for him that being surrounded by my art pencils and bookshelves and the warmth of the quilt my grandmother made me before she died during my infancy made me aversive to his existence.

Sitting on my bed, I knew he didn't belong amongst these things.

"Stop looking like you've seen a ghost and take a shower. I'm taking you out."

"I'm grounded."

"Your parents leave you here to simmer in your punishment,"  
he added a wry emphasis on the word, scoffing before continuing, "while they're out on their yacht traveling to Tea Country? Yeah, they're so firm in making sure you stay grounded."

When I looked up at him in bewilderment in how he knew all of that when I hadn't told anyone besides—

"Naruto told me."

Of course, he did.

My head itched somewhere deep in my skull. Naruto had the gall to tell Sasuke about my parents, but he lacked the guts to even talk to me.

The whole thing made me uneasy.

"Were you just with Naruto?"

My room had a faint hint of something sweet and lightly charred. It smelled like Naruto and his choice fix.

"Yeah. He went to get Hinata before the party and I told him I had something else to do before then too."

"And that something is?"

"You."

His crude joke earned him a pillow to the face.

"Get out. I'm grounded. I'm not allowed to go outside or have people over. I'd appreciate it if you leave."

I stood up, walked over to the cushioned seat under my largest window and opened the latch. I raised the glass and spring night air came rushing in, making me shiver.

It never struck me weird that I wanted him to exit through my window instead of my door.

"Fine, you don't want to go to the party. I get it."

I rolled my eyes as I pulled my quilt closer to my form.

"Sasuke, just leave. I can't leave this house and—"

"Can't or won't?"

For a while, it was silent. Maybe for fifteen seconds. He was baiting me, I knew it.

"What is that supposed to mean?

But I was cold and impatient.

"Your parents aren't even here to restrict you, but you do it to yourself. I've been Naruto's best friend for years," I scoffed and thought of all the times Naruto hadn't mentioned him, "but I don't know a damn thing about you. I've been trying and yet, here you are, barring yourself from all human contact, just like he said you would."

A sharp pain went from the top of my head to my toes at the end of Sasuke's spiel.

Naruto said that? About me?

There had been endless times in the past where I felt Naruto and I were too different to be such good friends, but spending time with him was always easy.

I didn't know spending time with me was so hard...

The thought made my eyes burn.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know... Sorry."

At that moment, I felt horrible. I felt like I did in study hall and those were feelings that had no place in my room. Then again, I reasoned at the time, neither did Sasuke, but there he was, sitting in my computer chair.

Now, looking back on everything, I still don't know if I regret getting in the shower and letting Sasuke whisk me away when I should've been at home.

What I do know is that, regret or not, I would still do it if I could relive that night.

I thought kissing Sasuke was what turned me inside out and that I would never change so much again.

I was wrong.

* * *

And so it begins.

Thanks to those who have already showed this story some love.

xx mm.


	3. The New

**A/N: **Okay, this story has me more inspired than I've been in a while. I promise those who read my other stories that I will get back to them within a two week period, but in the meantime, try and enjoy this chapter.

It's a little short, but it's 5:24 AM and I'm on vacation.

* * *

Naruto had greeted me at the door of the guesthouse and then ditched me, leaving me vulnerable to the older guys at his party that liked high school girls. Ino had put her arm around my shoulders when this guy I didn't even know the name of started to hit on me.

She always told me this: "The first thing guys notice are a girl's looks, not her smile. If they ever say differently, they're lying because the girl they're already with is ugly_ or_ they're sweet talking you out of your pants."

The moment Ino wound her arm around my shoulder and barely-forced her way into the conversation I was already having, the attention was no longer on me. I never blamed it on her. After all, Ino could not help the fact that she was beautiful and it would be stupid of me to hate her for attributes she was born with.

I would just have to content myself with the fact that, as long as she was around, I would never be noticed.

At least, not for long.

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**bad kids**

_you rip out all I have just to say that you've won_

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The only boy that had ever been in my room was Naruto. Seeing Sasuke among my things-the embarrassing pictures I have, my few stuffed animals, my books-made me a bit uncomfortable. I never heard that he was intrusive, not in the slightest. In fact, with the way everyone talked about him before I had even seen him made me believe he never talked to anyone, except if they were:

a) A girl that fit his high standards of being a fuck buddy

b) His connect

c) Naruto

I fit into none of these areas, therefore I had no idea why he was pulling things out of my closet and dropping them on my bed before I even emerged from bathroom in nothing but the underwear underneath my robe. A black silk tank top with a sheer, see-through back had been laid on my bed along with a pair of tight, dark wash, distressed skinny jeans.

"Hurry up and get dressed. We have places to be."

I eyed him as he sat beside with what was apparently my outfit, flipping through my sketchbook, probably at the last page. He made me so uncomfortable, but it was already apparent that he didn't listen to the demands of others. I had no choice but to play along.

I stood there for a moment, stiff and unwilling to change in his presence, but he didn't budge, not even noticing my discomfort until he looked away from his eyeless portrait. He scoffed at me and rolled his eyes, going to the bathroom that had cooled down sufficiently.

I couldn't help being uncomfortable exposing myself in front of any boy. I had a right to not let him see me in a state of undress...

So why did I feel like I had done something _wrong_?

* * *

Sasuke told me that he only had to catch someone at Tenten's party for "five minutes", before he left me beside a leather couch I had woken up one in the early morning to the thick odor of day-after-sweat and cigarettes I had breathed in since falling sleep. I could see him as I stood alone in the midst of nine other people leaning on the couch or half-sitting on the armrests. He talked to a guys with white hair and purple eyes that glowed even in the dimness of Tenten's apartment, looking back at me twice since we'd arrived 20 minutes ago.

I wanted to leave before I ran into someone I knew, but when I saw Kiba walk by and take a glance he must've thought secretive, I groaned. It wasn't even heard over the booming music and the next thing I knew, Ino had pushed her way through a couple that was grinding a few seconds before her intrusion.

"Forehead! I thought you were grounded."

She looked at me with a face that said no excuse I supplied would be adequate. I made her have to wing it for the party, preventing her from drinking so much she could barely stand and picking a "flavor of the night", knowing no one else would deal with a girl that was such a sloppy drunk and her one night stand. But here eyes, they were almost black with the dilation of her pupils and I knew she had popped something before my arrival. I hated it when Ino had a Molly. She was loud and mouthy and the life of the party and that got her into fights.

Many fights.

Fights that she didn't bother to remember, whether she got the last hit or not, because "haters will always hate".

I didn't make excuses.

"I am grounded."

"_Sakura?_"

Naruto strolled up to stop beside Ino, his hand around Hinata's waist.

He_ never_ left her alone in the presence of strangers.

"What are you doing here?" Ino looked me up and down, recognizing items in my closet that I hadn't ever worn because she had been close to borrowing him until realizing I was a size smaller than her.

"She's with me."

Sasuke's baritone trampled the music and I heard him clearly as his appearance made Naruto and Ino shift and make room for him. He took my hand and squeezed once.

I tried not to think about it as he pulled me away, taking care to not look at the frustrated faces of the friends drowning in the crowd I was leaving behind. I didn't need to see them to know something had shifted in the balance of where I stood with them, just like I didn't need to convince myself not to care, but then I felt another shift with someone tugging at my shoulder, sharp nails digging into my skin a bit.

"You can't just walk away, Sakura. I'm not done talking to you!"

She pulled on my shoulder and my body spun to face her, people backing away as they noticed how she had called my name out of everyone's in the room.

That was usually how drama started when Ino was involved.

"You come to a fucking party when you just gave me some shit about being grounded because of a boy?"

Ino had a tendency to run her mouth when she was sober. Ino had a tendency to run her mouth when she was high. Ino had a tendency to run her mouth when she was drunk.

Ino never shut the fuck up and I suddenly found it bothering me more than it usually did. She yelled in my face and laughed and made a scene, but I didn't hear a word of it with blood pounding in my ears and my heart beating faster.

It was the exact sort of thing I feared happening while I sat alone in study hall and, for a second, I thought I was going to have a panic attack in the midst of Ino making subtle jabs at me and shoving my shoulders to emphasize the things coming out of her mouth.

Then, I heard it.

"What kind of friend are you to leave me alone to suck some guy's dick, Sakura?"

The words slapped me back into reality and I could hear those words clearly ringing in my head, ricocheting off the walls of my brain along with the laughter of people conscious enough to watch us and people drunk enough to go along with the flow of the room.

I remember taking a look back at Sasuke and saw him looking up at the ceiling, ignoring me.

Just like he ignored me when Ami slapped my books out of my hand.

Just like he ignored me when I handed him the bento box I made for him.

Just like he ignored me seconds after he kissed me.

The next thing I knew, my fists were colliding with Ino's face.

I only know I stopped for certain when Sasuke pulled me off her and out of Tenten's apartment.

* * *

When we pulled up to a quiet mansion in a gated community, Sasuke looked over at me from his relaxed position in the drivers' seat, a completely naughty grin on his face.

Almost annoyingly smug.

"What?"

I questioned him from the passengers'side, even more smug.

My hair was frizzing and my skin felt sticky with the air that was getting warmer as weeks passed by, but I had rarely felt better at any other time in my life despite the horrible act I had just committed with the hands in my lap.

"Nothing," he breathed out the word as in the middle of a laugh, "let's just get inside."

He took my hand and proceeded to lead me into a place I didn't realize would have such great meaning to me now, as I recall this story.

The Tsumi Mansion was a place of such splendor that it lived up to its name.

Columns reminding me of my studies in Ancient Greece during History class lead to two eggshell doors that matched the rest of the grand estate, including the fountain of angels we crossed before getting to the marble steps we had to walk up. A butler opened the door for us and Sasuke completely ignored him, pulling me along through the most pristine mansion I had ever seen until we had crossed the black and white checkered floor, reaching a door with a golden knob placed underneath the staircase running down along the left wall.

Sasuke opened this door as if he owned the place and pulled me down a staircase that led to utter darkness. I gripped his hand and he made sure I didn't trip over my heels.

"Stay close to me."

Two men in black suits opened a pair of doors simultaneously, and Sasuke pulled me inside the basement filled with people I had never seen before, doing things I had never seen before, in a place I was sure wasn't real, with its open bar and club lighting and pulsing music that me want to dance even though I knew I couldn't.

"Sasuke! You're finally here!"

A pretty redhead kissed him on the cheek and then stepped back to greet me in the same way.

Needless to say, I was stunned.

"Hey Karin, this is-"

"Oh, I know who this is! You're Sakura, right? Sasuke has talked about you nonstop since transferring to KHS," she smiled at me and then turned to him with a smile I was scared to say was approving,"Sasuke, she is perfect. I'm sure she'll do nicely."

I looked up to see his face and I saw him smirk at her before turning to me and putting his arm around my shoulder.

Under his cologne and the slight moisture of his t-shirt beneath the light leather jacket he wore, I could smell soap.

When he followed Karin, pulling me along, I didn't question. Behind another door to the right, there was a circular room that was quieter than the rest of wherever we were, people already in it. They all greeted Sasuke as soon as he entered.

Karin took my hand in hers and announced, "This is Sakura, everyone!"

If I hadn't of been so stunned by the warm welcome everyone gave me, I would've noticed the knowing looks everyone in the room exchanged with each other, excluding me.

I missed many important things from that night, like the way there were drinks set up already on the circular table in the center of the room, surrounded by plush pillows for everyone to sit on. And the way Karin suggested, as if rehearsed, that "we all should play 'Button, Button'". The way Sasuke made sure to sit beside me and how a long pillow was set up for me to sit on, or-

There were too many things I didn't notice about that night. But Sasuke made me feel safe and warm inside and I craved his attention. Knowing what I do now, I would probably still do everything the same that night.

When I took a sip of my fruity drink a few moments later, I felt lightheaded and the room felt so much bigger and the feel of Sasuke's hand caressing my hair felt so good and his voice was so nice when he told me to "just lay down and enjoy it".

I listened without question.

The events that followed made that night the night that "Sakura", the knee-length skirt wearing, sober, ignored _good gir_l, died a glorious death.

I no longer had any use for her.

* * *

I am too personally invested in this story when I have other projects.

This might become a problem.

review/favorite/or follow!

xx mm.


	4. White Blank Page

A/N: Okay, so people are enjoying this story a lot more than I thought they would. I'm glad that's the case- it keeps me inspired. Anyway, here is a new chapter barely after the last one.

I am becoming obsessed.

* * *

I remember the first time Naruto ever met Hinata. It was about a month into Freshmen Year and she was my partner for abiology assignment to create a guide for the many systems of the body. She had been in my room, on the floor with me, labeling the different organs in the endocrine system along with their functions when Naruto walked in.

The moment he saw her, he started sweating at the palms, rubbing his hands on the cargo pants his mom bought him a few weeks ago.

Three weeks flew by after that and Naruto had been explaining to me, on the floor in my room, in the exact same spot Hinata had been sitting in with her delicate legs folded under her, that he was nervous about their first kiss.

"I've never... you know, Sak. Don't make me say it."

I smiled fondly in his direction. Naruto's embarassment was always a special display, considering he could take anything life threw at him and laugh it off.

"Well, how do you expect me to help you, Naruto? It's not like I have any—" I rubbed my upper arms as if the room had dropped a few degrees. It was no secret to Naruto that I had no expertise in the world of dating or kissing. Especially kissing.

I saw him look down at his lap, twidling his thumbs and cheeks glowing red until he switched his gaze to my face.

"Maybe we could..."

I looked at him shocked that he would even start to suggest it, but not surprised. Naruto never wanted to look like a fool in front of someone he was trying to impress, and if that meant he would have to kiss me, then so be it.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and leaned into him quickly, giving him my first kiss for the sake of his first real girlfriend.

I pretended it was me he wanted.

His lips were warm.

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**bad kids**

_you did not think when you sent me to the brink_

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Everyone has that moment where they feel they have finally lived, finally existed. We live most of our lives feeling dead, but then we are born for what feels like the first time because being freed from the womb does not free you from your chains. I felt as if my moment had come.

I said this to Sasuke as he looked down at me, my head in his lap as I could swear I felt every inch of the skin on his hand rake through my hair, sending tingles down my body that I could see in front of my eyes in the exquisite form of tiny hearts and stars and spots and sunshine and that crazy shit that happens to your vision when you stand up too fast.

He chuckled as he shook his head and I felt the vibrations snap off from the back of my head, bounce from bone to bone in my body and then boomerang back to behind my eyes.

"And there's so much more where that came from."

I hung onto his words, not understanding the meaning of his words, but knowing he was the beacon of light at the center of my epiphany's bliss.

Suddenly, I wanted to get up. I wanted to dance to the infectious beat that was only held back by the walls of the private room we were all in. I wanted to have a drink. I wanted to feel Sasuke's skin on mine.

"I wanna feel you."

The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them, yet I was too deliriously happy and chatty to care.

He pulled me up and gripped my waist, taking care of me as we descended out of our small haven onto the dance floor that spanned across the entire basement floor and ceiling—I gawked at the cages coming down from the ceiling with dancers inside. The bass heavy pop song that rang from the sound system hidden from my eyes frightened me at first, but I was soon sucked in—into the beat, into the crowd, into Sasuke.

I put my back against his chest and moved against him, desperate to feel him and not in the least bit embarrassed to realize I was grinding on him.

In fact, when he put his hands on my hips, I only picked up the pace.

* * *

"So, Sakura. Sasuke seems to be quite fond of you. I can see why."

Karin smelled sweet—If I recall correctly, she used mango scented lotion—as she danced lithely in front of me, her arms around my neck. She found me and Sasuke on the floor and asked if she could cut in. Sasuke told me he'd be back in ten minutes and to stick with her.

Turns out, Karin stuck to me.

I'd learned so much about her, like that she used to be Sasuke's classmate until he transferred and that they'd been in the same school since kindergarten. She liked rum and coke, dancing and something else, but I hadn't heard her correctly because I had been observing the way the ever-changing lights made my skin turn into a rainbow of colors.

A hand moving down my side snapped me out of my reverie and my eyes turned to look at Karin slowly.

"What are you doing?"

My words were slow and hushed, but she heard me. She pressed her hot face against mine and I hissed when her_ cold cold cold_ hand slipped under my shirt, the palm on the lowest part of my back, her pinky against the waist of my jeans. It felt so nice and her hand was so soft and the contrast let loose a slight moan.

"Karin."

Sasuke was back, but, unlike the girls at my school who straightened their backs and stuttered when they were caught off guard, she continued her ministrations and began to stroke my sweat slicked back with her thumb and gave him a casual "hey".

A sigh was heard and Sasuke untangled me from Karin's softness.

"Come on."

* * *

I'd never been surrounded by so many people who knew my name. Sasuke brought me back to the private room we were in before and there was no hesitation by anyone to engulf me in their conversations and ask me questions.

I had shots of tequila with the white haired guy from Tenten's party—Suigetsu was his name.

I danced with Karin in one of the cages coming down from the ceiling—scared out of my mind from the height, but liking it.

For the first time in a long time, I was _apart_ of the fun, not just _next to it_.

When Sasuke put his hand on my waist while I was speaking to a huge guy named Juugo and said there was somewhere he needed to be, I didn't hesitate to follow.

* * *

Sasuke told me to stay in the car when we pulled up to yet another mansion I didn't recognize about three miles from the Tsumi Mansion. The AC in his car worked perfectly, so I didn't contest, but he'd been gone for over half an hour if I was right, which I probably wasn't because I could barely ready the clock in his car without getting distracted by all the lights and hearts and stars I saw whenever I blinked.

My head leaned against the darkly tinted window, the cold glass soothing my burning cheek. All was quiet and if I'd been outside, I knew I would've been engulfed by the sounds of crickets and the glow of the fireflies buzzing in the night's darkness.

Sasuke told me I should be sobered up in an hour, that I only had a small hit of acid—whatever that was.

I concentrated on a firefly hovering by the mailbox of the house Sasuke went in and squinted to read the name on the mailbox.

It read _Watanabe_...

As in _Ami Watanabe_.

Out of no where, I could feel my eyes start to burn and my hands fisted in my lap. I thought 'how dare he leave me out here while he was inside, doing I-wish-I-didn't-want-to-know with Ami'.

_Fuck it._

I groped around to open the car door, almost falling onto the sidewalk in surprise when I pushed too hard. I was so pissed that my vision started to clear, only to be replaced with tears as the adrenaline pumping through my veins gave me the balls to walk up the winding pathway to the Watanabe home. I wasn't thinking clearly—too drunk off the drinks I had, still buzzed from the acid I took, supremely pissed from the betrayal I felt.

There was also the matter of my ego.

Punching Ino, having interested people surrounding me all night, being with Sasuke—it all slowly chipped away at the insecurity of my actions and made me into someone who _expected_ all these things.

That part of me only grew with time.

A childish part of me cackled victoriously at how Ami's large estate was smaller than mine.

Ripping open the front door, I called out Sasuke's name in anger and stomped over to where I heard a commotion. Imagine my suprise when I stumbled into what I presumbed was a sitting room and saw Sasuke with no Ami.

Instead, he had a guy with silver hair and glasses in a headlock; there was a large hand slapped over the stranger's mouth and Sasuke was whispering quiet things in his ear—things I was sure I didn't ever want to hear. Sasuke threw him on the ground as the guy tried not to tremble in fear.

"I'll be back next week. You owe me four more pounds in addition to the regular weekly shipping."

He took my hand with his free one—the other was carrying a duffle bag—and left, dragging me along while I was still gaping at what I just saw.

Halfway towards the car, I started pulling back in protest, eventually yanking my hand free from his and taking several steps back from him in a fear I didn't understand. I ended up falling on my butt.

"Sakura, what the hell?"

"Don't give me that! What the fuck just happened in there? And what is in that bag, Sasuke?"

I yelled and continued to scream at the top of my lungs, despite his protests, not realizing how stupid of a decision that was at the time.

"Hey! YOU! What are you doing in front of my house?"

Before I knew what was happening, Sasuke hoisted me over his shoulder and ran towards the car, the duffel bag not slowing him down at all. In a few moves, Sasuke had settled me in the passenger's side, the duffel bag in the back seat, and himself in the driver's seat. We sped away as a man ran onto the lawn holding a shotgun.

Sasuke did so many twists and turns I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of following where we were going at the time and I was still too stunned by the image of a man ready to shoot the both of us to yell and demand an explanation.

When Sasuke took my hand in his, I didn't pull away.

Somehow, I knew I had just seen something that would span far from just that night.

I was scared and shook, but positively buzzing off of the adrenaline that had yet to leave my veins and Sasuke knew that by the way he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.

When I saw the _You Are Now Leaving Konohagakure No Sato _sign, I wasn't surprised.

* * *

Okay, tell me what ya think.

Thank you to everyone that has showed this story love!

xx mm.


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